A Front Row Seat to Hope
My qualifications for writing about hope for someone who has just lost the person they shared everything with are minimal. Honestly, I’m not qualified at all. I’ve never experienced that kind of loss firsthand.
My only qualification is this: for more than 14 years, I’ve had a front row seat to the pain, struggle, and hope of the one widow in my life, my wife, Jeni.
I’ve seen how certain moments can pull her right back to the feelings she had nearly 19 years ago, when she lost her first husband, Alton, in a single-car accident. The isolation and loneliness she felt as a young widow and single mom to a 20-month-old baby girl can still come rushing back, sometimes from something as simple as sitting in an empty room watching TV. Each year, the anniversary of Alton’s death brings waves of heartbreak and deep sadness. Even now, fear and helplessness can surface anytime one of our three girls or I leave the house in a vehicle.
These memories and emotions are like scars on her soul. They have shaped who she is. But alongside those scars, something else became firmly rooted in her life: God’s presence, faithfulness, and steadfast love.
Scripture speaks clearly about God’s heart for widows and the fatherless. Psalm 68:5 tells us that God, in His holy dwelling, is a father to the fatherless and a protector of widows. At His very core, God is a protector of widows and a father to the fatherless. I’ve seen how God’s Spirit at work in Jeni, and in the lives of other widows walking together in community, has allowed them to become that protection for one another. They support each other. They stand together against the loneliness and inadequacy that so often accompany widowhood.
God’s character is also revealed in Psalm 34:18: “The Lord is near the brokenhearted and saves those crushed in spirit.” Our Father aches alongside us. He sees His children broken, overwhelmed, and exhausted, and His heart grieves with them through every tear. Just as we feel our children’s pain and suffer alongside them, our Heavenly Father feels those same emotions for His own.
I’ve seen how healing so often happens in community. Psalm 147:3 tells us that God heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Being part of a group, showing up to events, and walking alongside others has brought peace and moments of joy to women who never asked to be part of this sorority. God’s promise to bind up wounds doesn’t mean scars disappear, but it does lead to deep friendships, a growing reliance on Him, and real hope.
Hope doesn’t erase the loss, and it doesn’t rush the healing. It meets you right where you are and helps you take the next step when you’re ready. You are allowed to grieve, to feel unsteady, and to move forward at your own pace. God is present in this season, and you are not walking it alone. Even now, there is a way forward, and you are stronger than you think.