I am newly widowed. What do I do now?
Friend, we are so sorry for your great loss. We know what it is like to feel the heavy weight of grief and loss. We also know what it is like to be paralyzed by exhaustion while having to make what feels like 1000 decisions all at once.
Here are some practical tips for how to navigate the early days of widowhood:
Emotional
Know that it is okay to cry. It is okay to fall apart. Your world flipped upside down and you are not expected to have it all together.
Know that it is okay to laugh, even through your tears. Grief is an emotional roller coaster and there is no “right way” to feel.
Ask for help. Designate a point person to communicate with any people & offers coming your way.
Make a list of needs as you think of them, as small as toilet paper and snacks you want. Your point person can delegate errands to people offering help.
Surround yourself with people who allow you to feel what you need, when you need it, whether it's laughter, silence, or tears.
Be okay with saying "I've had enough. I need to be alone. You can go now.”
Find community. Other widows understand the waves of grief, the anger, the sadness, and the exhaustion. If you need help connecting, please contact us.
Seek counseling if you think you need it. Reach out to your church or counselors if you need someone to help you process your grief. We are happy to connect you with counselors if you need them.
Give yourself grace. It is normal to be forgetful, to feel scattered, and to feel like a different version of yourself. Know that you are not alone and that you are deeply loved by your Heavenly Father, even if He feels far away.
Practical
Use your point person or another trusted friend to help you walk these steps if needed. Making calls and filing paperwork takes an emotional toll and can sometime feel overwhelming. Request several copies of the death certificate. You will need it to handle much of your estate-related business.
Contact your husband’s employer to let them know about the loss. Inquire about any company-sponsored life insurance policies that may have been in place.
Locate your husband’s will and life insurance policies. If he had life insurance, notify your insurance company of the death.
Notify the local Social Security office of your husband’s loss. This federal program provides benefits to many surviving spouses and dependent children.
Examine your health care coverage. Seek out new coverage for you and your children if needed.
Continue to pay bills as usual, if possible. Begin to contact companies to notify them of your husband's death. Have bills changed to your name.
Probate the estate, if necessary. Contact an attorney if your estate is complicated.
Make a list of home repairs needed as they come up. Ask for help with those. If you need resources, please contact us.