Someone I know just lost her husband. How can I help?

Thank you for coming alongside your widowed friend. We cannot tell you how valuable it was to have a support system in the early days that held our arms up when we were weary. It is difficult for some widows to articulate exactly what they need, so here are some ways you may be able to help:

  • First, commit to pray for her and her children. Pray for God’s peace and comfort to fill their lives and for them to be reminded of his love, despite the tragedy. Pray for wisdom for your widowed friend as she learns to navigate life without her husband.

  • Give her space to fall apart. Losing the person you had planned to spend forever with is HARD and grief causes you to act in ways that you never imagined. Give your friend grace and love her well when she doesn’t seem like her old self. She will never be her old self again. This has changed her forever.

  • Don’t feel like you have to say all of the right things. Most of the time, just being present is comfort enough. The book of Job illustrates this well. Job 2:13 says, “And they sat with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his suffering was very great.” Those dear friends gave us biblical example of how just our presence may be a comfort to our grief-stricken loved ones.

  • Offer help, but be specific, with options! Offer to clean her house, do a specific chore, take the kids out, bring coffee, write cards, porch drop paper goods, research processes she needs to move forward with legal/financial needs if you’re that close.

  • Organize play dates/kid care so she can handle business or go out to dinner when she feels up to it.

  • Find ways to memorialize her husband: jewelry, pressed flowers from service, bears, pillows, etc.

  • Always offer space as an option, along with frequent help.

Previous
Previous

I am newly widowed. What do I do now?